so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
