Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Randomize
