Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
