I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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