I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
