It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
