i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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