i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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