This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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