he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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