There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
