idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
