I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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