do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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