I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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