Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
