My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize