I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
