Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you win again, gameday.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
