My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You took a bar mat shot.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
