I'm going to jail i love you
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
