If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I AM VODKA MAN
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So vagazzling was a success
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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