I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
