Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
