You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I have feelings that need drinking.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
