I think I won the penis lottery.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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