it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
