if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
