Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
