Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
