omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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