is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
