So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
