idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish I only lived at night.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
