I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
