Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
