so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
