Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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