Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just want to make out with him forever
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
