i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
