her vagina looked like bernie madoff
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
