dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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