The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
