We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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