I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize