I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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