I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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