He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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