i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
