just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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