you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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