I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
