So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
