I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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