I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
